When I became a mother, I wanted to have things I was passionate about outside of being a mom. I didn't want to disappear into motherhood. If I had done my job right, it was likely that at around 18 years old, my daughter would leave the nest to chase her dreams with greater independence. It is hard to imagine this when you have to wipe their butts for the first few years. But I knew from the outset that healthy attachment means being able to let go while still holding space for her always.
I seem to have carried this philosophy on with me into the workplace.
My daughter is almost twelve now, and I support her in numerous ways but she is becoming increasingly independent and is always ready to take on a little more. I also work with clients, helping to support them -- their bodies, and their nervous systems -- as they explore strength training. I love working with each one of them. But when their bodies and minds are ready to move on and pursue their big picture goals - of becoming a powerlifter, trying crossfit, taking gymnastics, or just training on their own - I know I have done what I set out to do and it is time to let them go. Saying goodbye is bittersweet and my door is always open. But they just don't need me quite so much anymore.
One of my clients has just left the nest - a former Division I athlete. She wanted to hurt less, work on her form and technique, and build a solid foundation so she could feel secure joining a crossfit gym. She missed training with a team. I was honored to walk this part of her fitness path with her and simultaneously serve as a sounding board as she sought out different options for the next steps in her training.
What I want more than anything is to make fitness accessible to EVERYONE. This is why I emphasize physical and psychoeducation whether I am coaching a group, working one-on-one, or posting on social media. I want folks to feel equipped to explore different modalities. I want them to be able know what their body needs and how to ask for help in getting it, even if I am not around. Each person has different needs when it comes to time and attention, but if I have done my job right, they will need me less and less.
Originally Published March 1, 2019